Last weekend was my Thing 2’s sixteenth birthday. It was an epic #momfail. To be honest-I #momfailed hard.

The weekend started off by me getting sick. (Warning: here comes a little t.m.i.) We had plans to go over to a friend’s home Saturday evening to watch the UFC fights. On the way to their home I began to feel nauseated and everything was spinning. It was a horrible…let’s just say that the evening ended with me vomiting chorizo and orange soda. If you ever have to vomit this has to be one of the worst combinations ever. Needless to say I ended up having to call off work for the following day.

Did I mention that I also had forgotten to take her birthday off?

The following day my daughter wakes up and her face is red, swollen and itchy. Needless to say-she was not pleased. Who wants to spend their 16th birthday looking like a strawberry? We went through everything we could think of that may have caused this type of reaction. Everything she could have possibly come into contact with. Makeup? Food? Something from the backyard? After a few hours we finally come up with a possible suspect-new fabric softener. On a whim I had bought a different brand of fabric softener. Why? Because I liked the smell. No other reason. There was nothing wrong with the one we normally use, I just thought I would switch things up a little. Go a little wild and crazy and try something new (my God-is this what I really consider to be exciting?) I came home from the store and went on a laundry spree. I washed everything I could find. Sheets, blankets, towels…everything. Oops. Big oops. It was the only thing that was different in her life.

#momfail

Thing 2 normally has the easiest birthday dinner requests. The past couple years she has not wanted to go out to eat, she has requested chili cheese fries made at home. Quick, simple and easy. But, that’s not what she wanted this year. This year she wanted to go all wild and crazy and have spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. I still was feeling nauseas but I figured spaghetti was relatively simple to make. Surely I could handle this. How could I possibly mess up this meal? Well, I could and I did.

I started making the meat sauce early, I prepped the garlic bread, had pasta boiling-all seemed to be well…but just as I popped the garlic bread in the oven and heard screaming coming from the kid’s bathroom. So off I go to check on the source of the screams…it was the birthday girl. She had washed her face and was patting it dry with a towel-and of course she just happened to be using one of the towels washed in the new fabric softener. So I started going through the towels to make sure all the “contaminated” ones were pulled out of the closet to be rewashed-completely forgetting for the moment about what was going on in the kitchen. That chore quickly ended when I started to smell something burning. I headed to the kitchen and was greeted with smoke coming out of the oven and water boiling over. I popped open the oven just as little flames were starting to appear. Epic #momfail. I ran the smoking, hot garlic bread to the back yard…then ran back in to seize control of the rest of the meal. The noodles were overcooked. The sauce was slightly burnt on the bottom but it was salvageable. This was not the best birthday dinner ever. As we sat down at the kitchen table to eat, or attempt to eat dinner, the birthday girl just looked at me and said, “I demand a do over”.

Happy 16th Birthday Thing 2!!!

Kid, you’re definitely going to get your “do over”.