Fasten Your Seatbelts

It’s been awhile...

Quite frankly...it’s been way to long.

Honestly-I have written blogs to post many times over the past few weeks...but then I’ve hit the delete button.

So “fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night”...

First of all...we have got to rewind back to the end of May. I opened up a pop up shop-Chingona Por Vida! It was awesome! Great location-awesome landlord (shout out to Karina at Premier Salons!). I was selling coffee, my salsa & pickled veggies, t-shirts & other Mandy Q items. Local vendors from around Yuma had items available in the shop...my little shop started to take off. Life was good.

Fast forward a few days into the month of June...the PIC received a phone call. He was offered his dream job working in Washington, DC.-this wasn’t really a surprise, I knew he had applied & interviewed for this job. I was faced with a decision-stay in Yuma and do the long distance relationship thing or move with the PIC to DC. I chose to move to DC...I figured my dream was mobile-I could be a Chingona anywhere, his dream required him to move. So he said yes to the job and we started our move across the country within about 2 weeks.

Wait-did I mention we got married in the midst of all this?

We literally called up our family & just a few friends & told them to meet us at our favorite Taco Truck, threw out a few tables & chairs and got married.

We ended up selling the majority of our belongings and just packing up the bare necessities into a U-Haul trailer and driving across the country to our new home in Silver Spring, Maryland (about 9 miles from DC). I tried to appear to stay calm and collected but needless to say internally I was anything but calm and collected...I was freaking the hell out. I literally quit my job of 15 years, closed my pop up shop, got married, sold the majority of our belongings & moved across the country to a 2 bedroom apartment we found online & rented. I left behind a kid, my family, friends...almost 40 years of my life in the same town. I had a kid in Georgia at boot camp & high school senior who asked to stay with family finish out her last few classes in Yuma. When we got on the road-sh*t got real and everything hit me...way harder than I have ever admitted.

And when I thought life couldn’t get crazier…we showed up in Maryland on a Thursday afternoon only to discover that our youngest kid started to school the following Monday.

Sh*t kept getting real...real fast...

The PIC started working almost as soon as we arrived. To be honest, he started working from home the two weeks before we moved. He worked right up to the day before we packed up the U-Haul & left town. Anyways...he was off to work and I was here...in the apartment with the kids...and trying to function. My Thing 4 was off to school but the girls were only here for a few weeks before flying back to California to start their school year...& then I was alone.

Ok-not completely alone. The PIC works 9am-5pm’ish and Thing 4 is in school. But I know no one over here. Not a single soul.

I might be an outgoing person at times...but stress & anxiety hit me hard & I started to fall apart and I have been struggling to put myself out there. I tried to venture out to the local farmers markets...but my first experience did not go very well. I ended being yelled at and told to “go back to El Salvador” along with a few other racist things (in case you’re wondering I’m not from El Salvador, I’m from Yuma, Arizona and my family is from Mexico). I’ve also been “Mom shamed” because I don’t speak French. People have questioned me with “what are you?”...apparently to some people this matters. For me, growing up in Yuma...my race never mattered. I was taught by my parents that it did not matter-you treat everyone equally and you never ask someone “what are you?”. So for me-this was and is all new and I do not like it. Racism sucks.

Take all of the above and mix in the loss of a few “friends”...& you wind up with severe anxiety & depression. I let all of the above affect me more than I should have. I let the opinions of others who I thought were my friends affect me...I have let anxiety and depression run rampant through my brain...& I am done with it.

So that being said let me also get this out of my system. When your friend goes “mia”...sometimes it’s not you-it’s them...sometimes when your friend withdraws & is snappy...maybe it’s because they’re dealing with more sh*t than you will ever know because they’re not at liberty to speak on it. Sometimes it’s ok to say nothing...sometimes it’s ok to let your friend know that you’re there for them from a distance...sometimes it ok to let your friend know that you sense something is up because of their behavior and when you’re ready to talk about it you’ll be there. Friendship isn’t always simple..friendship involves good and bad times...and if the solution is to block & delete someone when they no longer serve a purpose...than maybe it’s time reevaluate what friendship means to you? Sometimes you have to call your friend out on their b.s. and let them know what’s up...& when they’re ready to talk you’ll be there. True friends can pick up where they left off...I’ve been blessed with 3 or 4 people that I’ve known for over 20-30 years...that have suddenly popped back up in my life (even if it’s just via text or social media)...it’s like the “Friendship God” knew I needed them right now & sent them back my way. Thank you to my #bailmoneychicks...you know who you are! Thank you to my Instagram peeps who have checked on me because they’ve noticed something is “off”...to you all I say...Chingona Por Vida!...I’m coming back my “Beeshes”...no more drowning in depression and anxiety...I’m clawing my way back up.

I’m getting the website back in order. I’ll be clearing out inventory on hand and posting new items soon. I’m getting my blogging back on track (to my teacher family members-be prepared for run on sentences & bad punctuation). I shall be posting the recipes I’ve been playing with and people have asked about.

Did I mention this week’s project will be Serrano Salsa and working on getting it shipped to you guys back home in Yuma?...

The point is...I’m back...join me once again on this crazy and brutally honest wild ride...Chingonas Support Chingonas!!!

Chingona Por Vida!

Mandy Q

P.S.

If you know of any Chingonas in the DC area…send them my way…I need a “Chingona Network” over here!